"The biggest lies that you've ever told is to yourself."
I found that in a Heist Society #3 Book, Perfect Scoundrels. Sure that quote has been extremely paraphrased, but you still get the meaning.
I can totally relate to that quote, 100% accurate, describing one of my deadly flaws. You can't relate? You sure? Let me give you a scenario that you are in thousands of times throughout your teenage years :
Scene 1:
*you playing video games, look at the clock*
Oh, I'll stop in another 10 minutes and then revise...
*10 minutes later...*
Let me finish this level first.
*30 minutes later*
No! This is the Boss Level!
*ages later*
Aw damn, it's late! I'll just revise tomorrow...
Scene 2:
Okay, I hereby vow to myself I'll stay away from internet, games and novels till the exam ends.
*the next day*
Fuck the exam, I'm finishing this series!
Scene 3:
Hmm.. If I get 7A and above, I'll treat myself to Häagen-Dazs.
*after the result is out*
5A? Well, let's feast ice cream!
Scene 4:
I'll exercise everyday and lose 3 kg by the end of the month!
*the next morning*
Never mind, it's not like the diet is effective anyway.
Seems familiar to you? Yep, that's what us teenagers do nowadays. I'm no exception. Yes, I made the effort to stop playing The Godfather for one and half a month is advance (I haven't told you about my gaming addiction, yes? That'll feature another post then). But then again, if I only stop playing one game and starting another, how does it exactly help? As you can guess, it does not.
I continue to read novels and play games shamelessly. Making a bunch of promises to myself I never fulfill. And what is even sadder that the fact somewhere deep in my mind, I know I will not do it. It's just fleeting words, intended to calm my high-strung heart. Like in the "Three Idiots", the heart is stupid, if we say everything's alright, they will be assured.
As how my action dictates, my result is sucky by my parents standard.. I wouldn't even tell you because I know, it's pretty decent by most people standard. So now I will establish that my parents are not who you call most people.
No matter how many times I said to myself I will try to revise this time, get a higher marks, satisfy myself by proving everyone wrong. I did not do it and strangely enough, I don't have any regret. Is that why I never improve? Because I don't give a fuck anymore?
Writing this post may seem like a justification (feels like it too). But I honestly have no idea what I am doing. Yes, I was a great student, have that high IQ and stuff. Now, all that's left is the legacy of it. I changed too much, held back a lot. I don't even know myself anymore. Sometimes, I kinda miss my old me, the one that will surely study when exam comes, the one that diligently finish up every homework and more, the one that is still innocent by the way of the world.
See? Even I myself feels like a lie. Like the very foundation of me are made up of fake things, deceitful stuff.
But if I could go back in time and do it differently, would I?
KK
Showing posts with label exam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exam. Show all posts
Posted by
キリュウ
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Posted by
キリュウ
comments (0)
MWAHAHAHAHA~!!
The to-be world conqueror is HERE!!
I already filed some plans that'll make the world bow under my feet!!
*evil laugh*
Well, in short, I'm already bored with my everyday life and decided to write in this abandoned blog XXXD
I already forget when is the last time I wrote here...
Do any of you remember?? XXD LOLZ
There are already a few important (BIG) things that happened this year...
Let me list it out:
~ The arrival of the Japanese....
No, they're not here to conquer the country... They're here to HAVE FUN with us.... and no... they didn't torture us to have fun... nothing about us drinking soap water until we're bloated... no such thing.. They're the cultural exchange student from the Tomita High School, Gifu, Japan... And I met a new friend.. her name is Azusa （あずさ）... And she's super kawaii.. ^^ All the boys are swooning over her.. LOLZ.. we had a great time in our school (although it's unbelievably hot and I'm wearing BLACK with a VEST some more!)
~MPO 2011 (Awesomeness~)
This year MPO visit presenting you, BUGS BUNNY AT THE SYMPHONY~!!!!!! *applause* here's the image....
Bugs bunny cartoons accompanied by orchestra.. >o< very very very very nice~!! Let me upload the photos next time XXD.. and post my activities there... hint hint... there'll be リツ (as always) and Pavi... The "leng zai"s and MORE~!! If I'm in the mood, I'll post! XXD
~ Muzikarama (JPM Concert)
Because it's not the school concert, I'm not so excited... This year I'm playing viola (I have the habit of changing my instrument every year..) And on top of that we're UNPAID performers (we perform for FREEEEEE~) They just provide us with a lame vest (we have to buy the uniform ourselves using our POCKET MONEY!!) (and it's OVER SIZED) and some puny food... It really sucks.. (continue complaining..) This post will never end if I continue any longer.. So, in short, this concert really sucks.... JPM = Lameness......
~School Concert (OMG!)
OMG OMG OMG~!!!!! XXXD this year's school concert is arranged to be on two days~!! XXD The first day is for the penniless people student.... the second day is for the parents and teachers.. XXD.. Highlight performances :
~ STORM
~ C&G team
~ Faridah sings - I'll be there...
~ SASSU group...
Well, it's a BLAST~!! and we took class pics and some crazy MAFIA pics... XXD.. and as usual, if I'm in the mood, I'll post the pics and our crazy routines~ XXD
Well, that's all for the report today.. my sis is already beside me, waiting.. Well, it's her time to surf anyway.. and I'm getting uncomfortable hearing her babbles... XXD
And the world-conquering agenda is POSTPONED!
Let me tell you about it later... XXD
Wish me luck, I'm going to take my major exam next week... >.<
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キリュウ
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Hello...
I predict that May will be the most hectic month of the year...
I have so many things to do in the month of May, including my best friend birthday Sakura on 24th of May...
So, the things I must do on May are:
1. Mid-year exam (which I must study till drop dead)
2. My first band performance (which we haven't practiced yet, or eve choose the song!)
3. The Gala Muzika Konser (which had always been a pain in the ass)
4. My auntie and her family are coming (my mom is planning to appoint me to be their tour guide)
Three of the events above are very important...
The result if I failed to do them are:
1. My mom will give me a long lecture about "Why you don't study harder"
2. Our band (probably) will be black listed
3. No improvement in my violin playing
4. My auntie will feel bored
And furthermore, May is one of the month with least holiday... So, I think I'll need a therapist after May...
Wish me luck everyone.....